**
Ok, girl. Now I am not trying to pry, but who's that guy I saw you walking over to the student center with the other day? I mean, I had heard you were talking to someone, but I didn't know you had gone public with that relationship already. What's the deal? Is it serious? Have you talked about marriage yet? Picked out your bridesmaids dress color? Discussed how many kids you are going to have? All I am saying is he is cute!!! Way to go, girl. I just knew you couldn't stay single forever with such a great personality. Any guy would be stupid not to swipe for you at Starbucks or text you irrelevant messages all day long. I knew as soon as I saw the two of you sitting together at Refuge that he was the one. I am just so excited for y'all!
Wait, what? You're not dating? You were just running a work study errand together, and you don't even remember his name? Well, that's just not fair to the rest of us for you to go frolicking around campus with members of the opposite sex like that. People will talk. Everyone will be confused. It just leads to gossip and disharmony in the Ouachita Community, and you don't want to be responsible for that, do you? Seriously, if you are going to send mixed signals like this, you should really do something to clear up the miscommunication. Please specify in your facebook status that you are single, available, and currently not interested in anyone. Your present trampy ways are frustrating to all of us. And I am thinking of you in this, too. If you ever want a guy to marry you, he needs to be confident that you are single and ready to mingle. If you don't have enough self-control to walk around with females only, at least keep a 5 foot gap between you and your co-ed, friend, mmmkay?
**today's post is inspired by the humor of Lauren "getting down to the witty-gritty" Reynolds.
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