#8: envying members of the Pruett School for their possession of the Christian-Studies-Major card

So, it happened again. I was having that age-old debate with friends around the dinner table about who would win if God's Sovereignty and Man's Free Will had a throw down. I thought I was holding my own in the conversation, citing personal experiences, others' testimonies, Bible verses, and an occasional Pat Robertson quote when KAZAM! you had to go and pull out your Greek Bible. Now, while I am so proud of you for your exegeting skills and your possession of a travel-sized New Testament in its original language, from this point on you hold the ultimate trump card in our debate. Suddenly, you are C.S. Lewis, and I am the old lady in Sunday school who still thinks playing pool is a sin. I resent you for that. (I can still resent people because I've only grasped that text about forgiveness in their town. I haven't applied it to my own yet.)

Don't get me wrong. One day I will be so thankful for the way that knowing the word parakletos has helped you understand the Holy Spirit. When you're behind the pulpit, and I am sitting on the pew using my Bible to whack my kiddos until they concentrate on their Noah's Ark coloring sheets, I'll be grateful that someone else is there to do that extra studying for me. And I will cherish that $50 I got back on my NT commentaries and Bible dictionaries. So, I thank you in advance for that, my friend. But right now, you are stealing my thunder. Maybe one day, I will stop being bitter, but not right now. Right now I'll be licking my debate wounds as I scurry with my tail between my legs right on over to my I-Tunes library, where I will be comforted by the lyrics of "Oh How He Loves Us." Wait, could you repeat what you just said? You don't think the lyrics of verse two are biblical? Ag, I give up.