#12: getting humbled by lampposts

I am personally so appreciative for Ouachita's commitment to ambience. The lampposts lining virtuallythe entire path from Maddox to the Student Center really add some romance to campus. This dymanic is especially useful for DTRs, DMCs, or even platonic strolls with co-ed friends at night. Ouachita's lighted pathways also add a a British flair to our little piece of A-Town. Sometimes as I am meandering around campus between the hours of 8:30PM and 5 AM, I imagine that I am not in fact an ordinary college student in small town Arkansas but instead, Lucy Pevensie, and that Mr. Tumus will be joining me shortly for for a cup of tea and some sketchy lute-playing.

However, one unfortunate aspect of OBU's landscaping is its intrinsic connection to injury. Perhaps you have had a similar experience...

There I am walking to class, doing a little multitasking--i.e. walking and texting at the same time--when SMACK! out jumps a lamppost right into the center of my path and takes me down. Now some might say that I should have known better, that simultaneous texting and walking is obviously hazardous both to your own health and to the safety of those around you. I mean, I have certainly heard the sermon enough from Oprah and Will Smith to have learned this truth. Yet, I would like to plead "not guilty" to the fault in this scenario, for I have a theory as to why you and I collide, lamp post, and that theory is...conspiracy. That's right, my friends, OBU's lampposts are rising up against us. It's like War of the Worlds with 90% less blood- sucking, 50% less Tom Cruise and 100% more epicness. Plus...This. Is. Real. Life.

Perhaps they are bitter about the way their close proximity to to each other dims the significance of the individual lamp post. Maybe they're saying "hey, I wanna let this little light of mine shine all by myself, thank you very much, and I certainly don't need Mr. Lamp Post 65 here taking away my glory." However, I think that far more likely, the lampposts, like us, are not prideful individuals searching for satisfaction through a variety of selfish and abusive methods but instead, instruments for God's purposes. I envision the conversation going something like this:

Me: "Dear Lord, I just really need you to humble me. Lay my pride by my side in whatever way you see fit. I just want you to be glorified in my life, God."

God: "Done-skies"...
"Team Leader, Team Leader, I have an 827 on Jessica Schleiff. She's just prayed the 'ole "humble-me-Lord" prayer, and I believe that together with her general clumsiness and your skills in combat, we can totally make this thing happen. Lamp Post 1, please give a run down on the plan to Lamp Post 33. Over and Out."

Lamppost 1: "Lamp Post 33, do you copy? The subject is currently at your 3 0' clock, approaching the front of Mabee at approximately 3 miles an hour. I think you know what to do. Oh, and look at that! She's on her phone. It's like taking candy from a baby. 10-4, good sir."

Lamppost 33: "Copy, Team Leader. I am now slowly scooting 5 inches to my left...and...she's...DOWN, boys! The subject is down! Mission accomplished. What a job well done. I'll see you becoming even more undignified than this, Schleiff.

Sometimes, if the lampposts want to get really saucy, they get the columns in on it all, too. All I am sayin' is that you best be watching your step, my friend, and be careful what you pray for. It could be you next time lying concussed on the pavement with a sent text that reads "OMG! Be right therghuhdiuaslhjhsdiu"