#3: hating on OBU rules aloud while secretly appreciating the way they make room for nakedness

I have a love-hate relationship with the OBU "closed-dorm" policy. On the one hand, I resent the way it transforms the message sent by inviting a co-ed over to watch a movie from, "hey, I wanna be your friend, and I think it's great that that I finally found someone else who will gladly watch all the Star Wars movies in consecutive order with me," to "hey, I think you're marriage material. Let's have some shoe-in-the-door quality time together and see what happens."

On the other hand, though, throughout my entire three years at Ouachita, I have been spared from the shock of walking in on my roommate and her boyfriend getting to know each other in the Biblical sense. And let us not forget the significance of the way "closed-dorm" makes Ouachita dormitories clothing-optional. Let's have a moment of honesty here: nakedness is liberating. I mean, how many of us can sincerely say that if we were shipwrecked on an abandoned island, and there were no other survivors, that we wouldn't frolic around in our birthday suits? I know engineering a dress out of fig leaves would not be my first priority.

However, one important tip to remember while you embrace the possibilities created for you by the "closed-dorm" policy is to make sure your window shades are closed. With the close proximity of some dorms--i.e. those in Freshman Island--you, my Francis-Crawford-dwelling friend, may soon find yourself posed with the age old question: "Who told you you were naked?" To which you will reply, "Whelp, Perrin 3rd Floor did, sir."