#2: thinking social clubs are either the only way to make friends or straight from the pit of hell

As a Christian, Baptist, and avid reader of God's Word, I know that there are no gray areas in life. There is black, and there is white. This truth is similar to the way that there is only Heaven and Hell (contrary to what those other non-Bible-reading "Christians" believe. All I'm saying is that I never heard the word "purgatory" come out of Jesus' mouth.) Thus, it is only natural that students at Ouachita would take a similar stance on the controversial issue of social clubs. There are two camps: Camp A, those who hate social clubs with a righteous, stabbing-adulterers-with-a-tent-peg kind of anger, and Camp B, those who think everyday is letter-day Wednesday. There is no middle ground.

Camp A:
A mixture of proud-to-be-Indies and de-pledges, these students have a variety of ways of distinguishing themselves. During rush week, you'll often catch them in the chapel, praying that those vulnerable freshman will walk in the light and steer clear of the Dark Side. On Bid Day, you'll find them partying it up at Pancake Palooza. And during pledge week, they will attend Indie Skate Night, where they will be reassured that they do indeed have friends. At Refuge (for, of course, all Indies are Refuge attenders), you might just overhear them praying a prayer of thanksgiving to God for giving them the self-confidence and general hipness they needed to be able to make friends without the crutch of organized camaraderie.

Camp B (or if written on a poster, Camp Beee):
Camp Beeesters look forward to Wednesdays--and really every other day that ends in "Y"--when they get to support their club by wearing letters. Now just in case you are wondering about what I mean when I say letters, don't be confused. They do not actually wear letters of the Amuhrican alphabet. Those funny Greek squigglies are not New Testament quotes but in fact respresentations of club names. I know it's all a little perplexing, but with the help of flash cards, a $400 membership fee, and a t-shirt to commemorate this day, soon you too can understand. Members of Camp B know that the only way to truly form week-long friendships, to always have peeps to sit with in the Caf, and to master the art of making posters with glitter is to pledge. Sure, they miss the days when Tiger Tunes was actually fun, but there are more important things in life, like finding a spouse. And every Ouachitonian knows that the best way to have your sister find you a mister is up in 'da club.