#5: wondering if you're on a "hi"-basis with people

With the new school year quickly approaching and a whole new batch of freshman, transfers, and exchange students heading down to the Delph to take their place in Ouachita history-making, days of awkward mingling and acquaintance-building are soon to commence. These experiences combined with the ratio of student population to campus size have the potential to create a variety of uncomfortable side-walk scenarios for us Ouachita students. In order to help you in your time of need, I have created a list of options for gauging whether or not you are on a "hi"-basis with someone:

Scenario 1: You chatted at the Campus Ministries Mixer for 5-10 minutes, but you can't really remember his name.
Consider yourself on a "hi" but not "hi, how are you? let's stop and chat for a while"-basis. If he looks confused, maybe you should just let this one go. If it is now April, and several months have passed since your meeting, perhaps don't even go there.

Scenario 2: You were in a WOW group together.
Unless you had some serious DMC and have been daily chatting ever since about the status of your ailing grandmother, you are not on a "hi"-basis. The month is irrelevant. Trust me on this one. Been there, tried that. The results are usually catastrophic. If you must interact, keep it to a smile.

Scenario 3: You are on the same intramural team, but you've never really talked.
Consider yourself on a "bro-bump"-basis. This is especially appropriate if you are wearing your team t-shirt, for it helps clear up confusion and possibly even injury if your bro fails to return the bump. If you're a girl, a high five or enthusiastic thumbs up with wink will suffice.

Scenario 4: Someone you've never seen before thinks you are on a "hi, how are you?"-basis.
This is bound to happen considering the general level of friendliness of Ouachita students. If a conversation ensues, keep it to vague generalities like the weather and how brutal waking up for 8:00 classes is. If names are called for, stick to the ever-helpful "girl, dude, bro, etc." The use of Ebonics often helps, as well, to foster a sense of community and light-heartedness when genuine intimacy is lacking. Under no circumstances should you start guessing about info. If necessary, fake a black-out or bathroom emergency, and get out of there, stat!

Alternatives: If you would like to avoid having to make an assessment about what basis you are on with that fellow sidewalk-walker altogether, there are a couple of options. There is the pretend-like-you're-talking-on-your-cellphone trick. It's slightly shameful but works every time. Also available is the hug-him-until-he-confesses-to-either-not-knowing-you-or-knowing-all-your-personal-information trick. Use this second one at your own risk.