Just got engaged? Looking for some awesome pics for those wedding invitations? Luckily for you, there are about 450 up and coming photographers wandering around campus just waiting to take you to a field where they will reveal the magic that is your young love via 22.5 megapixels.
Want to capture your college friendships on film for facebook? Why settle for an awkward let-me-try-to-hold-the-camera-and-get-us-both-in-the-picture-without-making-it-look-like-my-arm-is-connected-to-my-face shot at a football game, when instead, you could grab that Canon EOS Digital Rebel-carrying chum currently walking down an OBU sidewalk with his tripod and flash in tow. He'll take you down to the railroad tracks with 50 of your closest friends where you'll show off your fiery eyes and all those modeling poses you've been secretly doing in front of your mirror for years.
And as any true Ouachitonian knows, you cannot truly consider that mission trip you took over the summer a success unless you have Kodak-momented in HD those little Ethiopian kids to whom you gave food, water and Bibles.
Unfortunately though, there are some on campus who have not shelled out the buckaroos or extra elective hours needed to join the Perhaps-I'll-Ditch-My-Biology-Degree-and-Pursue-a Freelance-Photography-Career Club. Not to fear! If you are in the marginalized 3% who (gasp!) only use the manual settings on their non-SLRs and can't even remember the brand name, there are a variety of ways to cover up your lack of photography skillz. Soon, you will be able to go back to putting your family photos on facebook without shame if only you follow these simple do's and don'ts...
Do: Cutting off part of the person you're photographing: i.e. head, half of profile, everything but the feet, etc. Nothing says "cliche" like including an entire body in a shot.
Don't: Poses. Candid all the way, baby.
Do: Throwing in an inanimate object that had no apparent relevance to the subject. Your pics will be so epic in all of their postmodern glory.
Don't: Including babies. Babies are so 1995. Unless that baby looks especially sad or has half of his face missing or is from another country or is wearing an "Invisible Children" onesie or serves a symbolic purpose in your photo's message, ditch that little son of a gun.
Do: Rocking the black and white option. Black and White makes everything look at least 50% more artsy.
Don't: Family beach pictures. Need I say more?
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
#21: tiger tunes
Friend 1: "Hey girl, wanna get dinner together tonight around 6?"
Tuneser: "No, girl. You know I've got Tunes. I haven't eaten dinner in 4 weeks. Duh."
Friend 2: "Hey, hey! How's it going? So I have been doing a lot of research, and I think I have finally found a cure for cancer. If you come and look at some lab results with me tonight, I will totally share my Nobel Prize with you."
Tuneser: "Sorry. I have Tunes. Priorities, you know?"
Friend 3: "Hey, how are you? Hey, I really need help your help. There's a family of 12 over on 17th street whose dad is in jail and whose mom just got hit by a bus. Can you come help babysit and bring them food with me tonight? I'm just not sure how much longer the little ones are going to make it. Winter is coming, you know."
Tuneser: "Hello-oh! Tiger Tunes practice! You know I don't have time for frivolities like that."
As many a Ouachitonian knows, Tiger Tunes is not just a cute show for Homecoming and Scholarship Raising. Tunes. Is. Life. Though some may claim that tunesers commit 80+ hours over a period of 5 weeks all in the name of fun, if one were to spend that same amount of time with an individual, they would not be just friends. They would be changing that facebook relationship status, son! Despite what Tunes participants may try to tell you, don't be deceived. It is not an open relationship. They are not seeing other people. Move aside, Other Friendships. Move aside, Homework. Move aside, Community Service. Move aside, Healthy-Relationship-with-Parents. Tiger Tunes is coming through.
Now given the level of time commitment necessary to be a Tunes participant, some might ask why any self-respecting student would subject him or herself to so many hours of song-and-dance boot camp. Well sure, there are a variety of reasons. Some claim it is all in the name of community building--for making new friends, having fun, and growing together. For some, it is a chance to live out childhood fantasies in a socially acceptable context (cough, cough, Eta Star Wars show). For freshman boys, it is a chance to show off their fun personalities, moves, and harmonizing skillz to both freshman AND upperclassmen ladies. (And indeed, many a new relationship has bloomed as tunesing co-eds tiger-tunes-run it off the stage, side by side, hand in hand, and heart in heart). For other boys, Tiger Tunes offers a chance to finally rock those tights and makeup they've always wanted to try without the resulting white-faced dads and weeping moms. And finally, others just can't afford that club fine.
However, we all secretly know why that cm prisoner will willingly undergo 400 run-throughs of the same contagion night after night after night, and why even the sweetest Tri Chi White House secretary will deck her sister when she misses that harmony part in "Eye of the Tiger" for the 3rd time in a row, and why the men of Beta Beta will kind of sort have a late-nighter. They all have a similar ambition: to beat the heck out of those blasted Kappa Chi's.
Through the years, several clubs have taken their turn in the winner's circle, and almost all have gotten to revel in the year long glory of sitting on the Tiger Tunes Champion's Throne (our hearts go out to you, Pi Kappa Zeta). However, in the past few years, one club has risen above the others, making the "only-professional-ballerinas-can-bend-like-this" moves of the Chi Delta's seem amateur and making those 8-part EEE harmonies sound like something performed by Vacation Bible School children. When the men of Kappa Chi busted out that synchronized helmet light show in 2008, things got serious. Things got real. Things got personal. From that point on, the Kappas could officially consider themselves ENEMY NUMBER 1.
So I ask you, non-Kappa-tunesers, what will you bring to the table to top them this year? Live Animals? Rings of fire? Soul? All I know is that it best be good. And I for one look forward to sitting back and watching--safely from my mezzanine seat--the emotions, the drama, the sweat, and the tears that are sure to commence come Thursday night.
Tuneser: "No, girl. You know I've got Tunes. I haven't eaten dinner in 4 weeks. Duh."
Friend 2: "Hey, hey! How's it going? So I have been doing a lot of research, and I think I have finally found a cure for cancer. If you come and look at some lab results with me tonight, I will totally share my Nobel Prize with you."
Tuneser: "Sorry. I have Tunes. Priorities, you know?"
Friend 3: "Hey, how are you? Hey, I really need help your help. There's a family of 12 over on 17th street whose dad is in jail and whose mom just got hit by a bus. Can you come help babysit and bring them food with me tonight? I'm just not sure how much longer the little ones are going to make it. Winter is coming, you know."
Tuneser: "Hello-oh! Tiger Tunes practice! You know I don't have time for frivolities like that."
As many a Ouachitonian knows, Tiger Tunes is not just a cute show for Homecoming and Scholarship Raising. Tunes. Is. Life. Though some may claim that tunesers commit 80+ hours over a period of 5 weeks all in the name of fun, if one were to spend that same amount of time with an individual, they would not be just friends. They would be changing that facebook relationship status, son! Despite what Tunes participants may try to tell you, don't be deceived. It is not an open relationship. They are not seeing other people. Move aside, Other Friendships. Move aside, Homework. Move aside, Community Service. Move aside, Healthy-Relationship-with-Parents. Tiger Tunes is coming through.
Now given the level of time commitment necessary to be a Tunes participant, some might ask why any self-respecting student would subject him or herself to so many hours of song-and-dance boot camp. Well sure, there are a variety of reasons. Some claim it is all in the name of community building--for making new friends, having fun, and growing together. For some, it is a chance to live out childhood fantasies in a socially acceptable context (cough, cough, Eta Star Wars show). For freshman boys, it is a chance to show off their fun personalities, moves, and harmonizing skillz to both freshman AND upperclassmen ladies. (And indeed, many a new relationship has bloomed as tunesing co-eds tiger-tunes-run it off the stage, side by side, hand in hand, and heart in heart). For other boys, Tiger Tunes offers a chance to finally rock those tights and makeup they've always wanted to try without the resulting white-faced dads and weeping moms. And finally, others just can't afford that club fine.
However, we all secretly know why that cm prisoner will willingly undergo 400 run-throughs of the same contagion night after night after night, and why even the sweetest Tri Chi White House secretary will deck her sister when she misses that harmony part in "Eye of the Tiger" for the 3rd time in a row, and why the men of Beta Beta will kind of sort have a late-nighter. They all have a similar ambition: to beat the heck out of those blasted Kappa Chi's.
Through the years, several clubs have taken their turn in the winner's circle, and almost all have gotten to revel in the year long glory of sitting on the Tiger Tunes Champion's Throne (our hearts go out to you, Pi Kappa Zeta). However, in the past few years, one club has risen above the others, making the "only-professional-ballerinas-can-bend-like-this" moves of the Chi Delta's seem amateur and making those 8-part EEE harmonies sound like something performed by Vacation Bible School children. When the men of Kappa Chi busted out that synchronized helmet light show in 2008, things got serious. Things got real. Things got personal. From that point on, the Kappas could officially consider themselves ENEMY NUMBER 1.
So I ask you, non-Kappa-tunesers, what will you bring to the table to top them this year? Live Animals? Rings of fire? Soul? All I know is that it best be good. And I for one look forward to sitting back and watching--safely from my mezzanine seat--the emotions, the drama, the sweat, and the tears that are sure to commence come Thursday night.
Friday, October 8, 2010
#20: zimbabweans
Who's that drinking hot chocolate on a warm, August afternoon? Who's that you spot walking all the way to Walmart to pick up some stuff from "the shops?" Who's that student stashing extra food and water in his backpack in the caf when no one is looking? Who's that rocking a quasi-British/quasi-Australian accent? Who's that boy donning Veldskoens and shorty-short shorts? Who's that girl bundubashing through the hedges to get to her next class when a perfectly acceptable sidewalk is merely inches--ugh, I mean centimetehs--away? Who are those okes leading shirtless boys in a bloody round of padding-free football down at the intramural fields? Who's that sporting some classic vuvu-lip at the OBU soccer match? Well, they're your trusty Zimbabweans, of course, boet!
Who would have thought that Arkadelphia, AR would become a near-refugee camp for marginalized Southern Africans? "Not I," said the Zehbra, "not I," said the hippopotamus, "not I," said the wildebeest. Did you, my American Ouachitonian friend, ever imagine that your peer group at OBU would possess a level of diversity that transcends beyond the mysterious boundaries of foreign lands like Montana, Utah, or New Jersey, reaching all the way over to that big-ol'-dark country of...(cue mood lighting and hushed voices)...Africa!?!?
We here at Ouachita would like to thank you, our dear Zimbabwean friends, for all the ways you help expand both our minds and our hearts and in doing so, make Ouachita lank awesome...
Thank you for helping us count our blessings for the finer things in life like food, shelter, and freedom from inconveniences such as racial oppression, hijacking, and being threatened on our lives at the voting booths. Thanks for checking our food complaints in the caf via pictures of empty grocery store shelves and starving, parentless babes. Thank you for keeping freshman girl attendance at Friday Noon Days at an all-time high. Thanks for teaching us that one can be African and simultaneously (gasp) white. And last but not least, thank you so much for helping us conquer our previously insurmountable fear of the word "Celsius."
Natalie 'When My Fingers Embrace the Keys, Magic Happens' Carroll
Theo 'Okay, Okes, It's Not Bromance, It's Called a Scrum' Hone
Jason 'Welcome to Noonday' Kirk
Tim 'I Rock the Zehbra Speedo 24/7, Boet' Ferris
Who would have thought that Arkadelphia, AR would become a near-refugee camp for marginalized Southern Africans? "Not I," said the Zehbra, "not I," said the hippopotamus, "not I," said the wildebeest. Did you, my American Ouachitonian friend, ever imagine that your peer group at OBU would possess a level of diversity that transcends beyond the mysterious boundaries of foreign lands like Montana, Utah, or New Jersey, reaching all the way over to that big-ol'-dark country of...(cue mood lighting and hushed voices)...Africa!?!?
We here at Ouachita would like to thank you, our dear Zimbabwean friends, for all the ways you help expand both our minds and our hearts and in doing so, make Ouachita lank awesome...
Thank you for helping us count our blessings for the finer things in life like food, shelter, and freedom from inconveniences such as racial oppression, hijacking, and being threatened on our lives at the voting booths. Thanks for checking our food complaints in the caf via pictures of empty grocery store shelves and starving, parentless babes. Thank you for keeping freshman girl attendance at Friday Noon Days at an all-time high. Thanks for teaching us that one can be African and simultaneously (gasp) white. And last but not least, thank you so much for helping us conquer our previously insurmountable fear of the word "Celsius."
Natalie 'When My Fingers Embrace the Keys, Magic Happens' Carroll
Theo 'Okay, Okes, It's Not Bromance, It's Called a Scrum' Hone
Jason 'Welcome to Noonday' Kirk
Tim 'I Rock the Zehbra Speedo 24/7, Boet' Ferris
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